An Open Letter To Megyn Kelly: It’s Not Too Late To Become A Feminist

It is time to come on over to the feminist side, Ms. Kelly. We have chocolate, wine, and a great support group. We will help you get through a world determined to deprive you of your humanity.

Dear Megyn Kelly,

I just wanted to drop you a line to tell you how sorry I am for how you were treated last night, and that I really understand what you must be feeling right now.

An insult generator with a bad comb-over just treated you like a poodle who had its pink fluff combed backwards during a presidential debate, and the audience cheered. It was awful.

In essence, Donald Trump’s answer to your very legitimate question about his open misogyny was, “Oh, I am sorry that you didn’t like that, little girl. But I haven’t called you a fat idiotic slut, have I? You were one of the few women who deserved a modicum of respect, but that is over now that you have had the nerve to question me.”

I saw the look on your face, that fleeting micro-expression of outrage. You thought that he would at least have enough respect for you to treat you like he would treat a man, to engage with you on the level of ideas instead of patting you on your pretty blonde head and scolding you.

Look, let’s be honest here: You have had it up to your back teeth with these guys. I know how you feel. I went to a freaking Bible college, for crying out loud. I know what it is like to wade in misogyny every day, all day.

Those of us who have made the choice to work in environments of avowed misogyny go through the same stages that I have seen you going through.

First, there is the denial. You think that surely it can’t be as bad as all that. Those feminists just exaggerate everything. You like being treated like you are special and beautiful. It can’t be that bad.

The denial eventually fades and you realize that the environment really is that toxic to women. But you think that you are smart enough, special enough, or talented enough to be the one woman they actually treat like a human being. You think that if you just ask questions nicely enough, or couch your responses in just the right language, they might actually hear you.

And for a little while, your Ginger Rogers act seems to work. You dance as well as Fred Astaire, backwards and in high heels. But then there comes that one event that forces you to face the awful truth that you cannot be good enough or special enough to be more than a pretty face.

I wonder if, for you, that event was last night. The other two moderators were typical Fox News ditto heads. You, on the other hand, shone. You did one hell of a great job. And you deserve kudos. Instead, Donald Trump has generously agreed not to complain to your boss.

You know that you want to break bad and go feminist. Your body language screams, “I have had enough of your mansplaining!”

Look, what you have heard about feminism is probably all wrong. We don’t try to emasculate men. The majority of us love a good penis and what it can do. We also love the men in our lives.

Feminism is what keeps us sane. We know that we are smart, that we are not overly-emotional, that we deserve respect. And yet we are treated like you were last night every damn day of our lives.

It is time to come on over to the feminist side, Ms. Kelly. We have chocolate, wine, and a great support group. We will help you get through a world determined to deprive you of your humanity.

You are not asking for too much, Megyn. You just want to be treated like a sentient life form, like a human being with a brain and value. Welcome to the feminist cause, Ms. Kelly.

We are sending you a million cyber-hugs.

Lynn Beisner writes about family, social justice issues, and the craziness of daily life. Her work can be found on Role Reboot, Alternet, and on her blog: Two Parts Smart-Ass; One Part Wisdom. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Related Links: