A recent article by “sexuality counselor” Ian Kerner begins with a premise that will likely get your hackles up:

“In a committed relationship nothing hurts more, or is harder to recover from, than infidelity, and this is even truer when it’s the female partner who’s been doing the cheating”(emphasis added).

Why?  Because according to Kerner, mens’ cheating isn’t as meaningful. This article does an excellent job at rehashing lots of tried-and-true gender stereotypes (for example: men cheat for sex, women cheat for love), but I find none more offensive than his assertion that happily married men often just get themselves into trouble when alcohol is present and inhibitions are down; they just make silly mistakes!  But those mistakes don’t really mean anything. They still love their wives!

This should offend all good men out there, because if we are to believe Kerner, than men are totally lacking in self-control and helplessly controlled by their penises. 

Yup, this article is sexist, but in an anti-male way.  (After all, at least for women infidelity is described as thoughtful, meaningful, and deeply felt.  We are apparently much more able to control our pesky hormones.)  

Let’s just tell the truth, shall we?  Both men and women experience temptations outside of relationships, and all adults have the ability to control their actions.

If what Kerner says about female infidelity being on the rise is, in fact, true (the evidence is a bit lacking) then I feel like he’s missed a really interesting opportunity to explore why.  After all, if women in hetero relationships who cheat are more fundamentally dissatisfied than their cheating male counterparts (as Kerner asserts) then there is an interesting conversation to be had about what factors are influencing that female dissatisfaction.  Alas, Kerner just relies on lazy stereotypes and generalizations instead.

What do you think?

Read Kerner’s full article here.

-Nicole