The kids you’re talking about? The ones standing right next to me, paying attention to the question? They are my own. Why shouldn’t I speak up and politely make the distinction? I really, really try not to get wrapped around semantics when people make thoughtless remarks about our adoptions or when they ask a question that maybe […]
My wish is that he will grow into a man who gives sincere apologies, not preemptive “sorries” to avoid consequences for bad behavior. We are lousy apologizers. Many of us are guilty of throwing around a “sorry” not as a demonstration of contrition, but as a way to justify bad behavior. Just the other day […]
We need to start talking to our sons, and tell them that it’s OK to feel and express emotion. That it doesn’t make them any less of a man. Raising boys can sometimes stink. I’m not talking about all the dirty socks, but rather the toxic culture of masculinity that surrounds our boys and that […]
Doing whatever I want doesn’t automatically make me a feminist. I’m a feminist because I advocate for a world in which every woman has the freedom and resources to do the same. When my partner and I started talking about having a baby—how it would change our lives, what we would need to do to […]
For many mothers, our approach to sharing chores and childcare consists of doing the tasks ourselves, nagging our partner to do them, and then resenting that we are doing and nagging. That is a recipe for failure. Both men and women rank sharing household chores as the third most important ingredient in our recipe for a […]
When I was a full-time mother, they had more of my attention, a lot more of it. As a part-time working mother, what they lose in hours logged, they gain in the fact that I am modeling self-fulfillment. I was a stay-at-home mom for eight years. For eight years, I had no employment outside of […]
Ten-minute car naps and self-care are the secret to this life. Remember the opening to that old MTV show, Diary? “You think you know, but you have no idea.” Ever since I became a divorced mom, that phrase comes to mind a surprising amount. People think they know what this life is about, but unless you’ve lived […]
The people arguing that children deserve better than being raised by my partner and me are the same people arguing that families on welfare are lazy and selfish. It’s not about children deserving the best in life. It’s about children being a commodity of which people like us are unworthy. For months after my partner […]
