How long has it been since she’s had a chance to mother me? We continue without speaking, her hand on my shoulder, comforting me. My son likes to cook. In kindergarten he invented a chewy, chocolate chip sheet cake, softened with milk and sweetened with honey, that’s become a staple in our family, and then […]
Ten years ago I publicly shared my story for the first time: my experience of being a noncustodial, long-distance mom and the unique challenges I faced in mothering my son from so far away, being recognized, and finding community. This led to an interview in Marie Claire, the Today Show, and many other opportunities to […]
There are, without doubt, millions of people alive today in part because their parents did at one point choose abortion. It might not be the traditional way of celebrating Mother’s Day, but around this time of year I make a habit of taking some time to consider the many ways the United States screws over […]
I can imagine, in little glimpses, what it might be like to love myself the way I love my daughter: not in spite of my failings, but beneath and beyond them, at a level that nothing else can touch. I am very good at talking about my anxiety disorder like I have it under control. […]
Don’t be scared to tell them the truth when their lives are at stake. Stranger Danger was born in the 1980s. You couldn’t miss it; it was everywhere. I would know, I was a kid then, trained to be terrified of any person I didn’t know. It’s 10 o’clock Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?, […]
My anxiety doesn’t mean I can’t be a good parent. In fact, it makes me a better one. I’m one of the least anxious parents I know. When my girls were little, I skipped almost every well-child visit and never called the doctor for the run-of-the-mill fevers and runny noses my friends seemed to flip […]
I realize now the time I spend away from my children is the time I need to take care of myself. When you’re co-parenting with an ex, it’s all or nothing. Unless you have one of those ultra-modern (and rare) arrangements where you all live together, which certainly makes pickups and drop-offs easier — “Daddy is […]
The shock of Ivy’s birth and my subsequent reactions to parenting have scarred me for life. The birth of my daughter, Ivy, was traumatic. I hoped for a more granola experience, as promised by the Business of Being Born DVD. Unfortunately, the bullet points on my birth plan contracted alongside my uterus. I still wonder […]
