You don’t own the right to dictate my appearance or anything else about me. I have “bitchy resting face.” Or, if you want to put it simply, I have a face. I don’t walk around with a smile (false or otherwise) plastered on, which seems to rub some people the wrong way. Why? Because we […]
My reasons might be selfish and vain and drenched in fear, but they’re my reasons, and I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to understand them. I’m the first one to admit it—my maternal instinct was installed with faulty wiring. I was never one of those girls who imagined the day she’d become a […]
Coffee, beer, food. If you have a parent of a brand-new baby on your Christmas list, you’re probably feeling a little stymied. They never have time to read or watch movies anymore, and that beautiful scarf you spent hours knitting is only going to end up living out its days as a burp cloth. Sure, […]
Having a spouse or a child is not the thing that makes a person a grown-up; putting other people’s needs ahead of your own is. After I asked readers to describe their feelings about the holidays, many expressed frustration. They wrote of nosey relatives who grilled them about their romantic lives, of being relegated to […]
People tell me I’ll regret it if I don’t plan something big for my 50th birthday. I’m about to turn 50. Like my 12-year-old son, I’m experiencing changes in my body that are, at best, confusing, making me feel like an amateur at things like hair removal and feminine hygiene. My girly hormones are in […]
Carving out the space to do nothing—to just be—is harder than one might think in our extroverted culture. I can and I do, but I worry that at best I appear reclusive or weird, and at worst, rude or selfish. Ever since I was a little girl, I have had to explain to people that […]
I’m afraid others will judge me, but more than that, I don’t want to admit to myself that I’m disabled. “Have you gotten a placard yet?” Janet asked. I shook my head. Janet leaned across the table and slammed her hand down. “Wendy, you’re making me angry. You need to get one.” Janet isn’t the […]
I want you to know I wasn’t judging your daughter’s behavior. I wasn’t judging your parenting. I was studying it. I was soaking it in. I was wondering what my own daughter would do. If my own daughter could. Dear mother I saw at the park: My friend gently nudged me as I heard her […]
