When you stop buying stuff, you might very well find that you have quite enough. The story of my 200-day Buy-Nothing-New challenge doesn’t start with an object or a possession. It starts with my dad, many months ago. My father had been living with me as he went through chemotherapy treatments. He was fighting a […]
Being labeled “dramatic” served not only to shut down my ability to talk about my traumas, but enabled my parents to deny they ever happened. (Trigger warning for rape.) There is no trauma so devastating that a dose of familial guilt cannot make it worse. My sister called me at work late on a Friday […]
The myth of community is that anyone can belong. And when belonging is paramount, it becomes very, very easy to overlook real conflicts and injuries for the sake of group cohesion. Two years ago, I walked away from an artistic community that had been a huge part of my life for the previous decade. In […]
Pregnancy is all too often treated simply as a gateway—something to get through on the road to the real event, the baby’s birth; not as a momentous, life-altering, and emotionally and physically treacherous event in and of itself. When I was 14 weeks pregnant, my husband and I flew halfway around the world to spend […]
We strive to set a good example, to teach you what you need to know, to guide you on your path from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood. But what we forget is that there is so much that YOU teach us. Don’t worry; this isn’t going to be one of those letters. You know […]
In a culture that stigmatizes those who refuse to forgive, the added stress can lead to poorer health and slower recovery. When I say that I am against forgiveness, I am not judging individuals who choose to forgive. If doing so helps you, then by all means, forgive. What I abhor is a culture that […]
It’s never too early to treat girls like complete people with personalities, interests, needs, and feelings. Compliments given to girls often center on their looks and little else. Hearing about looks more than other aspects can leave the nuances of women’s individuality unacknowledged and under-appreciated. Ironically, giving young girls and women praise only for their […]
From my sisters, I have learned lessons in the importance of standing up for myself and others, in sharing and cooperation, in being humble and never being afraid to apologize or admit when I am wrong. I have three siblings, all female, all of whom are my dearest friends. We are relatively close in age […]
