Are we often more comfortable feeling stuck in the mire? When I was an angst-ridden teen, all mopey with my incense and Smiths and exposed-nerve heartache, my mom would tell me “don’t look for hurts.” I had always been the emotional type, ever since preschool when they told my parents that maybe ice cream rewards […]
This originally appeared on Everyday Feminism. Republished here with permission. If the first thing you routinely think to say to a woman is something about her looks, we’ve got issues. It’s the affirmation that every woman allegedly wants and even needs to hear: “You’re beautiful.” Like many girls, I aspired to be beautiful. As a […]
This originally appeared on Alternet. Republished here with permission. At $1,700 a pop, being a bridesmaid is a pricey commitment. So why do groomsmen get away with spending so little? My phone rings at 8am on a Saturday morning. I groggily look at the caller ID and see that it’s one of my good friends […]
I tried to kill my feeling of emptiness and perpetual worthlessness with a busy schedule, with excess, with needless indulgences until eventually I became a burned-out, emotional ragged adult. I was elbow-deep in avocados on a quest to find the perfectly soft, ripe avocado for guacamole, which is basically impossible in early spring in North […]
I need to speak my truth, but I don’t want my abusers or my family to suffer as a result. I made the decision to stop writing using my own name after I received an email in the wee hours one bitterly cold winter’s night while working on a paper I was presenting the following […]
This originally appeared on Eat The Damn Cake. Republished here with permission. “Real woman” is beginning to sound a little like an accusation. Like a failing. You’re the cold, pimply truth. And there’s no mistaking it: Being a “real” woman is all about what you look like. I got an email from one of those […]
This originally appeared on Manifest-Station. Republished here with permission. Note: Sensitive material contained in this piece. Mention of sexual assault. If I had told that guy I didn’t want to sit on his lap, or I had yelled at that man to let go of my chest, then I would have lost them, and in […]
The label made me nauseous. But that’s exactly what it was. And calling it by name was the only way I could begin to heal. (This post contains content that may upset some readers.) Recently I did something I never thought I’d do: I called a rape crisis hotline. I couldn’t believe I was doing […]
