It’s the time of year when the days become longer, the temperatures rise, and pools everywhere open for the season. What does that mean? Well, mostly that I’m glued to my couch on Monday nights because The Bachelorette is back on TV! (What? It’s really hot here in DC anyway. Who’d want to be outside sweating?)
Despite my fascination with the show for multiple seasons (and multiple iterations, including the obvious original The Bachelor and last summer’s strangely fascinating, MTV-style game show Bachelor Pad) there are several things happening this season that I just can’t go without mentioning.
The first is the obvious villain: Bentley. Whether this man was a plant by the producers to make things more interesting or just a mean guy who wanted to get on the show to “do something that’s never been done before” (by which he means that he “tricked” the producers into casting him on the show for fame–which, hello, remember aspiring country singer Wes from season 5?) it was a choice that reminded us that the show firmly roots itself in 1950s-style courtship-esque relationships. In Bachelorette world ladies are old-fashioned ladies (as in, they allow themselves to be dominated by men and they don’t have ambitions beyond finding love) and men are old-fashioned jerks.
Bachelorette Ashley, although not privy to all of Bentley’s grossly misogynistic statements and slams about her looks, was warned repeatedly of Bentley’s poor intentions. According to a blog post by host Chris Harrison, Ashley was actually offered the chance to boot Bentley from the show before meeting him based on warnings about his character. At every turn, however, Ashley refuses to believe that Bentley could have anything but the best intentions. She is terribly upset when he chooses to excuse himself from the show on episode three. She takes to her bed amidst sobs and, apparently, almost quit filming. As such, she typifies a woman who allows herself to be conned by a scheming man; and as someone who isn’t savvy enough to protect herself.
Bentley himself is a harmful representation of a man. He makes repeated rude comments about Ashley’s looks, says she “isn’t his type,” and notes that he was hoping for a different Bachelorette. He is depicted as conniving, in one egregious example comforting an upset Ashley in order to seal his place on the show, and he even uses his daughter as an excuse. Bentley typifies a man obsessed with female appearances, unwilling to get to know a woman he’s not immediately physically attracted to. He comes across as just a bad dude. And, because he’s a bad dude, he’s not doing a whole lot to dispel myths about manhood. He leaves you with a sort of creeping feeling about not trusting men in general.
Ashley isn’t typical female Bachelor or Bachelorette contestant fare. She’s in dental school and is constantly referred to as a dentist on the show (whether she has actually completed her degree is unclear). In a throwback move that is typical of the show, Ashley’s dental ambitions were used against her when she was a contestant on The Bachelor by the Bachelor himself, Brad Womack, who questioned whether she was too professionally driven to be interested in a relationship (apparently just because she was enrolled in school). Because we all know that the ladies can’t possibly be interested in BOTH a relationship AND a dental career. It’s not possible down a job and fall in love! How are there enough hours in the day? What about all the required time to peer into each other’s eyes? And write each other love poetry? There’s no room for romance when people need their teeth cleaned and their cavities filled! It’s all too much, and we wouldn’t want Ashley to have a Jessie Spano-caffeine-pill-she’s-so-excited-she’s-so-scared moment.
As the Bachelorette Ashley has been presented with a variety of suitors who are high achievers, in a set-up consciously catering to antiquated ideas about how power within relationships should be structured. Her suitors are mostly Important Business Men. This isn’t surprising. Women on this reality franchise are often employed as “nannies” and “administrative assistants” whereas the men carry titles like “entrepreneur” and “lawyer.” Popeater notes that the show follows traditional patterns of men being more concerned with looks than success whereas women are concerned about the upward mobility of potential mates.
It’s terrifying to think about reality television drama being built around a woman not savvy enough to see through lies and a man who only cares about appearances (and himself, obviously). Even if behind the scenes Bentley had everyone fooled (highly unlikely), the way it’s being played out on-screen is a man taking advantage of a woman just looking for love. And with that we have the age-old dynamic of a self-involved, superficial man and a pretty, quick-to-fall in love woman. And despite reality TV fare like The Bachelorette often being a “guilty pleasure,” let’s not forget that it’s watched by millions of people (7.24 million people watched Monday’s episode) and is in its seventh season, while the original Bachelor will return this fall in its 16th (yes, 16th) season. Presumably, some of this success is because people continue to captivated by some age-old myth about finding true love. The Bachelorette may not suddenly turn all of us into naive damsels in distress who need a man to make our lives complete, but it seems unreasonable not to assume repeating this storyline serves to reinforce antiquated ideas about romance. And with this formula, ABC is missing a chance to make a really interesting show. Although obviously limited by being about white, upper class, heterosexual people, the show misses addressing the modern realities of romance and relationships with characters who are more complex creatures, almost like real people.
All this said, I will continue to tune into The Bachelorette and then Bachelor Pad 2 when that premieres later this summer. I’m somehow taken in by the weird, very public dates; the idea of making a “connection” with someone; and the inevitable trainwreck that will become of the relationships on the show. And I’m pretty sure I won’t be the only person glued to the screen.