I knew, like Winehouse, that I was No Good, but I insisted, as she did, on my own right to choose not to be. Both times I met Amy Winehouse, it struck me as amazing she hadn’t died already. She was 25, and I remember her dimunitive, emaciated, beehive-topped body reminding me of Marion Cotillard’s […]
You are going to mess up and you will have some regrets. But be the boss of your own body, and let your freak flag fly. My little sister and I were born 11 years apart, to the same two parents. Loving, kooky, birth-control-creative parents. When I was 12, I could be found with a […]
A new app allows people to share messages anonymously within their circle of friends—but it can get ugly fast. I’m visiting my best friend in Atlanta and things are just like they were in high school—we gab about friends, what people are doing, whom they are doing, and how they are doing it. It’s a little […]
Newly divorced and jobless, I asked myself: What would you do if you could do anything? In 2010, I applied the Lottery Test to my life. It’s sort of a childish game, which makes great fun: What would you do if you had just won the lottery—money was no object? When I’m in a quandary […]
This originally appeared on Everyday Feminism. Republished here with permission. Stop mansplaining, and don’t call me ‘hun.’ I’m noticing a trend lately—over the past couple of years especially—where we feminists really want to get dudes on board. “Come on, guys,” we’re collectively calling. “It’s time to get your shit together.” Based on the countless outlets and publications I’ve […]
While childhood abuse is common, open talk about the struggle to live, love, and parent well after being raised in hell is rare. “If I was dissociating, I wouldn’t feel so anxious,” she said. “Or you might, but you just wouldn’t know it,” I replied. We laughed the PTSD laugh. This is how survivors talk […]
Are we often more comfortable feeling stuck in the mire? When I was an angst-ridden teen, all mopey with my incense and Smiths and exposed-nerve heartache, my mom would tell me “don’t look for hurts.” I had always been the emotional type, ever since preschool when they told my parents that maybe ice cream rewards […]
This originally appeared on Everyday Feminism. Republished here with permission. If the first thing you routinely think to say to a woman is something about her looks, we’ve got issues. It’s the affirmation that every woman allegedly wants and even needs to hear: “You’re beautiful.” Like many girls, I aspired to be beautiful. As a […]
