No, I don’t need to own a designer handbag or throw a dinner party that would make Martha Stewart proud for my 20s to be worthwhile. I turned 29 last weekend. In 361 days, I’ll be 30, which most of us agree marks the official end of youth. By the time you hit 30, you’re supposed to […]
If we are to talk frankly about the conditions that lead us to use terms like rape culture, then perhaps we need all sides to take ownership of the experiences that add up to something so big and insidious and normalized. Even now, over 20 years later, I can’t bring myself to use his name, though […]
I embrace my identity as a socially awkward introvert who often drops eye contact and may speak three sentences at a party. None of those things speak to my character. I am about to turn 46. According to the Census Bureau, I am now one year into my middle age. I love this milestone. Like […]
Maybe they were outside their comfort zones. Maybe they were battling chronic shyness. Or maybe they, like me, were grappling with depression or some other mental illness. Sometimes I don’t want to talk. This may seem weird to people who think they know me, as I’m rather prone to long stories and enthusiastically engaging in […]
It may be a controversial decision, but choosing sterilization is as valid as choosing to carry a child to term. In Canada up until recently, there used to be rules in several provinces about when a woman could ask for sterilization. It usually involved her being over 40 years old, married and having had at […]
Sometimes the present moment is uncomfortable, or unpleasant, or uninteresting. And I just need to get through it, without focusing all of my attention on it. Before “mindfulness” became a popular catch phrase, I understood the act of being mindful as paying attention, showing consideration toward others, and demonstrating thoughtfulness. With my definition as a […]
Is it that hard to love me for me? When I was a kid, I used to wonder what I’d be like when I grew up. Somehow I had the idea that nothing about me would ever stay the same. I thought I might grow up to look completely different and act completely different, as though […]
The social stigma of spending money, particularly when you’re not wealthy and especially on “non-essential” items has a note of arrogance to it. It believes the future is an equitable given. When I was 12, my mother liquidated my modest college fund so that we could buy a 23-year-old ex-racehorse named Fancy. No, this wasn’t […]
