Dear Dana is a bi-weekly advice column for humans who engage in romantic relationships. Please send your dilemmas, issues, conundrums, assumptions, conflicts, anxieties, worriments, obstacles, complications, predicaments, queries, questions, and any other synonyms for “problems” to deardana@rolereboot.org. Dear Dana: I’ve been with my boyfriend for over five years, and I love him dearly. Our relationship is […]
One of the most commonly accepted bits of marital wisdom in the United States says that half of all marriages will end in divorce. As it turns out, this unnerving little statistic hasn’t been true for decades. The last few years have witnessed a great deal of handwringing over the supposed “death of marriage.” There […]
Trying too hard with love, forcing yourself and someone else to feel a certain way, or willing emotions to advance too quickly, will leave you feeling nervous, exhausted, strung out, and defeated. After my 10 year relationship ended, 10 years too long and a lot of angst culminating to the anti-climactic ending, I slowly began […]
I value my freedom as much as I value love and commitment. For eight years, I was in a relationship that upset a lot of people. “So, are you and James ever going to get married or live together or something like that?” It’s a question I heard a lot during the time James and […]
True intimacy requires time, it requires our mask to slip, our shadow to show. A few days ago on The Toast, Randa Jarrar stated that she was, “never living with a partner again.” I’m a person who has lived alone for maybe a grand total of four months in my 46 years, so I eagerly […]
If you treat your friends with greater respect, loyalty, and/or interest than you treat your lovers, I’d much rather be your friend. Maybe you know guys like him. If you’re his friend, he’s rock-solid: He’ll lend you 20 bucks or a joint whenever you need it, and he’s always on the other side of WhatsApp […]
I had tried everything. I’d had enough, so I decided: This was the last time I’d use the dating site. Oddly enough, I was right. When people ask me how I met my wife, I want to tell them we were set up by mutual friends. Or we met in a women’s drumming class, and sat next […]
Thanks for not opening the door. For not picking up the check. For treating us as equals and letting us help without it calling your masculinity into question. “Behind every great man is a great woman.” I’ve heard this saying my whole life, but never have I heard the flipside: Behind every great woman is […]
