How long has it been since she’s had a chance to mother me? We continue without speaking, her hand on my shoulder, comforting me. My son likes to cook. In kindergarten he invented a chewy, chocolate chip sheet cake, softened with milk and sweetened with honey, that’s become a staple in our family, and then […]
Like a guy who pulls the fade, then stops calling altogether, Sandy and I never actually broke up, never had that big fight I felt like she was goading me into. We just…ended. I never had a bad boyfriend. Honestly, the numbers just aren’t there: If you only ever have had three boyfriends, you won’t […]
I’m starting to see dying less as an act of letting go and more as an act of will. It’s a grappling with the body. I dreamt that my mom drove me off a cliff. At first I was driving, taking my kids to family camp in Yosemite. I was gazing out over the wide […]
My mother is fading before my eyes. The coffee was just the latest. First she stopped driving, then she stopped stocking the fridge for family visits, then she stopped cooking at all. We let each transition pass quietly, stepping in to shoulder a weight she couldn’t manage anymore. She gave her car to my niece, […]
