Even though I know I have no business having a baby, it feels like a door closing on my fingers every time I see it happen to someone else. I’ve just learned that friends are expecting in August. Mixed with the rush of joy on their behalf, I feel a pang of envy. Even though […]
Many of us feel perfectly whole without children — our lives are full and busy enough. The fertility rate in the United States has hit a 30-year low, falling to 60.3 births per 1,000 women of childbearing age. For those of us concerned about overpopulation, this may not seem like overly alarming news. Unfortunately, a […]
It turns out that “Do you want to be pregnant?” and “Do you want to be a parent?” are two very separate questions, and for me, they have two very different answers. Maybe this is an inevitable part of being in my 30s, but I’ve recently, inexplicably, wanted to nurture something. So I went to […]
I’m more afraid of having a baby than I am sitting through a horror flick. And I’ve seen Carrie. On my 21st birthday I officially declared to my parents that I would never get married or have children. I’m now 39 and I’ve defiantly stuck to my guns. Amongst my friends, I feel like the adolescent […]
I wonder if I can truly handle being a parent after so many years of freedom, quiet, and choice. At 36 years old, I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that I may never have kids. Like many American women, I’ve waited and waited and waited. I go about my day, not even thinking […]
What I want is for women’s choices regarding fertility to be supported, full stop. I want our privacy respected. About a week after my daughter was born, I was nursing her on the couch for the literal 11th hour in a row. She had weight gain issues at the beginning of her life, had lost […]
The reasons to not have a child are as diverse as the reasons to have one. Sabine Heinlein, in an April 2015 Longreads essay, explained with sharp articulation and sublime eloquence why she chose not to have children. She told the stories similar women have probably heard: Not wanting to be a mother is just […]
Abstaining from parenthood does not make you a screwed up, selfish, or damaged person. Being a woman who does not want to become a mother is still a bit of a cultural anomaly in 2017. Granted, our society in these ever-modernizing times is showing increased signs of acceptance of these women. But there’s a lot […]
Not that I owe anyone an explanation… I haven’t, for even one moment in my life, wanted children. Yet, whenever I say that I do not want children, people usually give me something about not being ready or that it will happen eventually. For a while, I would just put my head down and say something along the lines […]
I refuse to accept that childbirth and child rearing is an inherent and integral part of womanhood. When you read this, I’m probably either getting ready to go to or am already at the hospital to get surgery. Yes, I’m getting my tubes tied today! I have been waiting for two years for this to […]
Why is our culture so threatened by a single woman who chooses her own path? Why is single womanhood seen as such a terrible thing that must be overcome in order to be happy? I’m a single woman who’s dating, online and offline. That’s already a fairly challenging state of affairs. But it would be so […]
It may be a controversial decision, but choosing sterilization is as valid as choosing to carry a child to term. In Canada up until recently, there used to be rules in several provinces about when a woman could ask for sterilization. It usually involved her being over 40 years old, married and having had at […]
