Down syndrome is definitely part of our life, but it’s not the axis on which our family turns. Ten years ago my wife and I found out that the child she was carrying had Down syndrome. I immediately assumed this child would suck all of the “me” out of my world and that I was […]
Inspiration porn does not promote inclusion; it propagates objectification. Inclusion is the brass ring of the disability community. As the mother to a 10-year-old boy with Down syndrome, I constantly search for and even engineer environments where my son is welcome, places where the social constructs expand enough to accommodate a boy who doesn’t talk […]
Rather than assigning him a role to play, you have to give him space and watch how he fills it. October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. As a mom to a 9-year-old boy with Down syndrome I struggle a bit knowing what I should make people aware of. In the past I’ve tried to show […]
We need to offer women a full spectrum view of what might happen to their future children — not showcase a skewed sample of positive individual experiences. As a pro-choice mother to an eight-year-old boy with Down syndrome, I consider a woman’s choice and reasoning related to abortion to be her business alone. Women who receive a prenatal […]
Boy versus girl may not matter to Bobby, but finding someone to hold his hand in a crowded environment does. So he differentiates people based on their behavior and his sense of their personality. My son Bobby’s teacher recently told me that he can’t identify people by whether they are a boy or girl. I […]
I embrace my identity as a socially awkward introvert who often drops eye contact and may speak three sentences at a party. None of those things speak to my character. I am about to turn 46. According to the Census Bureau, I am now one year into my middle age. I love this milestone. Like […]
For as much as we strive to eliminate bias against our children, we parents also need to prepare our kids for the reality of a world that will not always be kind. My 8-year-old son Bobby has Down syndrome. I spend a lot of time advocating for him to have the same sorts of opportunities […]
When we minimize a child’s fear we make them feel lesser. When we validate their concerns and help them work through a difficult situation we empower them to survive the challenges of life. For the first three decades of my life I experienced fairly normal levels of anxiety. I had short-lived fight-or-flight responses around events […]
My Facebook friends are Bobby’s biggest fans. He won’t always care about what my friends think, but I am happy to collect the good thoughts before he rejects adult opinions. I am an unapologetic Facebook mama. I post pictures and stories about my 7-year-old son Bobby on a regular basis even though various studies suggest […]
Learning to eat was not about his health, it was about him meeting social norms. It was about me getting the approval of my peers. And in the end, my partner and I were not willing to risk inflicting emotional damage just to gain conformity. I was recently in the grocery store with my son […]
Honestly, I just don’t want to make the sacrifices required. Making the decision to not have children is a controversial choice for many people. Family and friends tell stories of indescribable love and fulfillment that come with parenthood—convinced that anyone who voluntarily foregoes the experience is making a huge mistake. What bothers me most about […]
The beauty of children is that they plainly see a simple truth: My son’s disability really doesn’t impact them much. Bobby is just a kid in their school, in their class, in their neighborhood. As a lesbian mama to a 7-year-old with Down syndrome, I am grateful that we live in a relatively open time. […]
