In learning that I exist amongst a growing group of men who react to rejection with violence, it adds a new layer of perspective to shutting down strangers at a bar. Since the deadly terror attack in Toronto in April, I’ve become familiar with the deeply disturbing world of incels. These “involuntary celibates” are young […]
Oh, honey. How can you argue against something that you don’t understand? Dear Dave, When I first read your article thanks to a wonderful feminist I know who shared it (who is also a devoted wife to a husband and mother to a son—doesn’t that just blow your mind?), I told her that I was […]
What drives young men who commit horrific crimes? It may be a simple lack of basic morality. Lately, when I see a scowling teenage boy walking through my suburban town, skateboard clutched under one arm, a starscape of acne across his forehead, I experience a quiver of anxiety. The same apprehension clutches me when a […]
While they claim to speak for men, their rhetoric may be just as bad for men as it is for women. One of the weirder developments of the online publishing era is the way a loose confederation of embittered anti-feminists has formed, across social media and the blogging world, under the banner of “men’s rights […]
The issue with saying women “here” have it better than women “there.” Here’s an idea: If you hear about a horrific injustice perpetrated against girls and women, try not to use that story as a weapon to silence other women who are fighting their own battles against violence and discrimination. This is all the rage. Take […]
Those of us safely tweeting from our comfy office chairs will never venture into those dark and dangerous places to physically ‘bring back our girls.’ But sometimes, the end we’re working toward is as simple as a conversation. When Twitter first spread its little blue e-wings in 2006, I’ll admit that I was far from […]
Reaching boys and helping to mend their broken world views—or making sure they’re never broken to begin with—can no longer be a niche of feminism. In the few days since the shootings at Isla Vista, a national conversation about men, masculinity, and sex has emerged. It’s not the first time we’ve had such a conversation; […]
The word ‘bitch’ is so pervasive, girls no longer ask: ‘Am I a bitch?’ But instead: ‘What kind of a bitch am I?’ This weekend the hashtag #YesAllWomen trended in Twitter in the wake of the mass shooting in California. I believe, like many others, that part of the reason for this response, one that […]
In our culture, masculinity is considered something you earn, while femininity is considered an essential quality. You just are a woman, while you have to work to earn the right to be a man. I have a Google alert set for the phrase “how to be a man” because I recently published a short story collection by that title. […]
This originally appeared on Fem2.0. Republished here with permission. We must stop teaching boys that they are superior or entitled to anything from girls and women. The results of those teachings have been disastrous. Mental health is always a factor to consider each time we dissect the latest mass shooting in this country. So is […]
