Some people make the annual pilgrimage back home even though they know their feelings will be ignored, their identities questioned, their experiences minimized. For those of you in this group, I offer an option: Don’t go. As the holidays approach, many people are making plans to visit family. Most everyone can expect some stress and […]
I opened the envelope, and pulled the letter out. It was at least six pages. I glanced over it and saw words like “disappointed,” “behavior,” “crappy,” and “finished.” The letter arrived today. Although I won’t mark it return to sender, neither will I read the whole thing in one sitting. I’ll take it in small […]
Biological coincidence is no basis for lifelong relationships. My father died when I was 24 years old; my mother followed four years after. My mom’s death, in particular, left me emotionally unanchored. I had not yet started my own family and my messy, complicated relationship with her had been my center. As the youngest of […]
Family, like love, is something done, not felt. I’m trying to determine what is the function of a parent to an adult child. And if it’s what I think it is, I wonder who counts as a parent. Based on the actions of my biological father, a parent’s job is to win arguments, use their […]
You’re a worthy human being who doesn’t deserve to have their blood drained by Grandpa. And if you’re sick of that shit, here’s what you can do about it. (Trigger Warning: Mentions of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse) So there’s a book from R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps series called Vampire Breath. In it, two siblings wander into their basement, somehow […]
In many ways, my mother’s failure to protect me was much worse than my brother raping me. Trigger warning for rape. In a lifetime of moments, most are quickly forgotten. Only a tiny number are retained, and most of these are filed away in our mind, reminiscences that can be pulled out or put away […]
I often dream of running away for the holiday. My tendency to give thanks for my life, a year round habit, comes to a temporary halt at the one time of year designed to elicit such sentiments. Thanksgiving, instead, causes me a low-grade, body buzzing anxiety that starts on November 1st. This is also a shame […]
