I could have handled things differently. I made a bad decision and I don’t expect him to forgive me, because I don’t deserve it. I probably could have handled the situation better, but I didn’t. I met Matthew in college when my roommate took me to her friend’s housewarming party outside the campus. Cliche? Check. […]
In my mother’s mind, there was always room for improvement. Feeling guilty has been a predominant theme in my life. As a child, I learned to feel guilty about eating, ashamed about my body and, for some reason, responsible for my family’s collective happiness. I often felt at fault; just in the wrong somehow. This […]
Guilt is the worst kind of vengeance, a punishment exacted by you for betraying yourself. We have all had an intimate relationship with guilt at some time or another. We all know that it pulls us in, envelops us, and keeps us warm even though we know we should be running the other way. Guilt […]
No mom should ever feel guilty for taking care of herself, in whatever form that may take. A vicious stomach bug made its way through our house last month, hitting me especially hard. I was still feeling the after effects of exhaustion even after my kids bounced back and were ready to return to school. […]
Dear Dana is a bi-weekly advice column for humans who engage in romantic relationships. Please send your dilemmas, issues, conundrums, assumptions, conflicts, anxieties, worriments, obstacles, complications, predicaments, queries, questions, and any other synonyms for “problems” to deardana@rolereboot.org. Dear Dana: My husband of five years recently rekindled a relationship with his 21-year-old daughter from a previous marriage. […]
I have a father and a stepfather, and love them both dearly. But growing up, I always felt sad, guilty, and pulled in two directions on Father’s Day. The other night, as I left the room he shares with his younger brother, I heard the voice of my 5-year-old creep over that of my husband, […]
It turns out that the strongest weapon in the fight to give girls equal rights is … a working mother. Years ago, when I was 36, I fell over, dropped like a dead weight for no reason at all. BOOM. At the hospital, they checked for everything (including HIV, as I had been working as […]
I decided to stop feeling guilty about being a “bad homemaker” and just own the homemaker that I am. So, I hired a housecleaning service, and then, in true Millennial navel-gazing fashion, I had an existential meltdown about what it says about me that I hired a housecleaning service. And because I’m a woman who […]
Mother’s Day celebrates what mothers should be, while actively ignoring an absolute truth: Many of us harbor deep sensations of ambivalence toward mothering, pregnancy, and our children. Martha Stewart’s website is bursting with Mother’s Day craft ideas that engaged co-parents can make with their children. Gifts that will find their way into the sheets after […]
Rachel Jeantel blames herself for letting Trayvon Martin’s murderer go free. But considering how often black women are blamed for many of society’s ills, of course she does. One of the worst things about being a black woman is that too often other people get to tell our stories. And they tell it in such […]
Seventeen years later, I finally have the courage to say, “I am a sexual abuse survivor,” and I need to heal myself. Trigger warning: This piece contains details about rape, sexual assault, and violence. The National Crime Victimization Survey recently revealed that 38% of victims of rape and sexual violence were men. Since men are often silent […]
