Families come in all forms. We’re just trying to live our lives and the question you might have considered innocent can sting us and our children. My two youngest kids are adopted from China, which makes them…well, Chinese. My husband and I are Caucasian, so you get a little more at-a-glance insight into our family […]
Some families are all about big, noisy, happy Gotcha Day celebrations. Other families view this day as a time to reflect upon the loss of the birth family and not a reason for cupcakes and balloons. I remember the day I met my son for the first time as if it was yesterday, instead of […]
You know you’re an adoptive parent if you dread school assignments that involve the “family tree.” My brother is adopted. Three of my cousins are adopted. It was a normal part of “how you got kids” when I was growing up. I got married at the tender age of 42 and the fertility ship had […]
Don’t assume a family who is adopting doesn’t want a celebration, even if the child isn’t a newborn. I know it might sound trite but I’m kind of bummed that I never had a baby shower. Part of me knows I should get over it but another part of me knows I’ll never let it […]
It’s hard to be a parent who doesn’t attach to their child. It’s crushing. I know. I was that parent. My son is one of the bravest people I know. That seems like a weird thing to say about a 5-year-old, but it’s true. My husband and I adopted him from China when he was […]
Yes. People really say this stuff. When it comes to adoption, you may have heard stuff about being “chosen” and “born in my heart, not under it.” Those are wonderful sentiments. This isn’t an article about wonderful sentiments, so hold on, k? My sons did not enter this world via my vajayjay. If you see me […]
I had the guts to help myself and I’m finding a way through this, to the place where I don’t lose my shit when my kids lose their shoes. In life, I try to strike a balance between transparency and over-sharing. Motherhood is a blessing and a joy but it’s messy and scary, too. Life is […]
I expected adoption to add to the number of people who lived in my house but it’s been much more. It’s changed every nuance of my life and turned things upside down and sideways. I’ve been on what I like to call the adoption crazy train since 2011, when we first decided to adopt our son […]
No one talked to me about post-adoption depression until after we adopted. This isn’t something I ever heard discussed outside of adoption circles. Maybe it’s time to change that? Here’s part of my story. I was crying the ugly cry in my hospital room after my daughter was born. A nice nurse found me some […]
The kids you’re talking about? The ones standing right next to me, paying attention to the question? They are my own. Why shouldn’t I speak up and politely make the distinction? I really, really try not to get wrapped around semantics when people make thoughtless remarks about our adoptions or when they ask a question that maybe […]
I’m glad books are a part of our bedtime ritual, but sometimes, I just want the ritual part to be over so Mom’s happyhourbedtime can begin. I love awards. I love the shiny gleam of trophies and medals. I love seeing my name printed on a piece of paper that says “well done!” I’ve racked […]
In our late 40s, my husband and I adopted two boys. We knew our lives would be different, but we didn’t expect our friendships to change so drastically. I’m not shy but I’m an introvert. I like other humans but I have a limited tolerance for “peopling”—you know, cocktail parties, wedding receptions, any place where […]
