Being a parent is forcing me to do the thing that scares me most: push aside the intrusive voices of family, friends, strangers, and my own self-doubts, and trust my own (and my partner’s) knowledge and intuition. I was officially diagnosed with anxiety in 2014, but I’ve known my brain didn’t work like most people’s […]
For me, saying no was safe—it gave me the control I lacked in many other aspects of my life. For most of my life, I was uncomfortable with saying “no.” I had to train myself and practice to utter this one syllable word. Never wanting to rock the boat, I said yes so that everyone […]
I would like to say that “Sara now resides in Seattle with her amazing partner and is finally calm, cool, and collected” but that would be a lie. Using the word “anxiety” in any sort of diagnosis creates a visualization that is both immediately recognizable and simultaneously hated on. Everyone has anxiety, everyone goes through […]
Guilt is the worst kind of vengeance, a punishment exacted by you for betraying yourself. We have all had an intimate relationship with guilt at some time or another. We all know that it pulls us in, envelops us, and keeps us warm even though we know we should be running the other way. Guilt […]
In terms of traumatic impact, the ECT feels like a violence that was inflicted upon me, not a procedure done to help me. Five years ago, I was in the throes of the third and hopefully last severe depressive episode of my life. I have always taken my medication as directed and regularly attended various […]
There’s a stigma attached to those who have to be on medication to get through their day. I, for one, am tired of keeping this secret. I remember my first panic attack. I was in my workplace, in a meeting, and suddenly, I couldn’t concentrate on what was being said. An overwhelming feeling of fear […]
The phrase “self-care” comes loaded with assumptions about who has the ability to care for themselves, and what kind of care is valuable. Exercise is virtuous. Devouring “Making a Murderer” in a single sitting is gluttonous. Here’s a scene: It’s my daughter’s 2nd birthday party, and I’m standing in my Elmo-bedecked kitchen with three other […]
I had the guts to help myself and I’m finding a way through this, to the place where I don’t lose my shit when my kids lose their shoes. In life, I try to strike a balance between transparency and over-sharing. Motherhood is a blessing and a joy but it’s messy and scary, too. Life is […]
Anxiety has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I’m never quite sure when it’s going to happen. You would think after all these years, I would have some kind of warning sign before it starts. The situations are different. The settings and people change, but the feeling is […]
And if I were to get pregnant, I’d do it again. You’ve seen the ads on Facebook. “If you used Zoloft during pregnancy and your baby was born with a birth defect, you may be entitled to compensation.” Pfizer is accused of hocking the drug to pregnant women despite known risks, including “holes in the heart, […]
Republicans think an overhaul of the mental health system will stop mass killings. It won’t. This bill is pushing people toward mental health care that, in my experience, does nothing to improve their long-term outlook. In the wake of the recent Planned Parenthood shooting in Colorado, House Speaker Paul Ryan called for a renewed commitment to […]
You are my art, my theatre, my story, my growth, my lesson learned. But you are not my secret. My mother always used to say our secrets made us sick. If I told a little white lie about the latest cafeteria meal, she’d tell me that my body was really the one who’d be sorry if […]
