The phrase “self-care” comes loaded with assumptions about who has the ability to care for themselves, and what kind of care is valuable. Exercise is virtuous. Devouring “Making a Murderer” in a single sitting is gluttonous. Here’s a scene: It’s my daughter’s 2nd birthday party, and I’m standing in my Elmo-bedecked kitchen with three other […]
For many women, the magic of motherhood seems to sweep over them on the day their baby is born. For me, the magic of motherhood came like a change in seasons—gradually and quietly. In late December 2009, the month my oldest son was born, I was scrolling through the photos in my phone and kept […]
Do you have a burning question about pregnancy, modern parenting or family life? Send it to Evie at AskEvieColumn@gmail.com or click here to submit your question anonymously. Dear Evie, My daughter craves daily adventures and excitement. At 2.5 years old, she already has more friends than I’ve accrued in a lifetime. She dances for the mailman. She […]
Fearful of scaring off new friendships, I quit telling the truth. It was about 11pm. I was on my way home and needed to run in the grocery store for some creamer. The store was mostly empty of customers except for myself and another woman who stood staring into the dairy case. All the while, […]
I was a biter. I was a hitter. I was a smart ass and spit out some fairly ugly things in anger, at my mother, who—kinder and gentler than most—took it. Every year on October 31st, I call my mother. Not because she is particularly fond of Halloween, but because it’s my birthday. “Happy my […]
Mothers with ADHD are frequently bad at the very things that women are stereotypically supposed to be good at. In most of the ways that matter, my friend Karen was a wonderful parent. She loved her children and demonstrated it daily. She hugged them, played with them, and read to them. She was neither permissive […]
You can do this, even when you don’t think you can. I won’t lie. There were times growing up that I hated my mom. She was a single mom. She spent her days teaching emotionally disturbed children and would come home totally exhausted. Some days she was so tired that she locked herself in her […]
“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” – Erma Bombeck My 6th grade music teacher decided that, for the school Christmas program that year, our class would be doing a musical […]
I became the mom I’d always hoped to be. “I know you can’t see it now, but you’ll end up appreciating the nights your children are away,” my mother said to me when I was getting divorced. She was right. I couldn’t see it then, but I truly treasure those blocks of time when the […]
The question of whose life is more luxurious, who is more selfish, who is lazier, etc., is a genuine distraction from truly important issues that affect all families. Last month, Allison B. Carter posted a piece in the New York Times about her decision to be a stay-at-home mom. It’s not a “luxury,” she argued. […]
Dear Dana is a bi-weekly advice column for humans who engage in romantic relationships. Please send your dilemmas, issues, conundrums, assumptions, conflicts, anxieties, worriments, obstacles, complications, predicaments, queries, questions, and any other synonyms for “problems” to deardana@rolereboot.org. Dear Dana: My husband and I have been married for five years, and we are proud new parents of […]
I’m worried that by making excuses for my daughter’s behavior I’m telling her that her feelings and fundamental personality traits are wrong, and that her feelings aren’t as important as how likable she is to others. Last week, in my undergraduate creative writing class, the students and I discussed Aimee Bender’s short story “Off.” The […]
