Being a better mother can sometimes mean taking care of your own needs first. Would you rather be described as bold, active, sociable,and dynamic? Or, rather, as sensitive, quiet, and serious? Outgoing, engaging, and a leader? Or contemplative, reserved, and uncertain? And do you associate either of these temperamental extremes with either powerful males or […]
Annamarya Scaccia shares her recent discovery that she does, in fact, want to have a child, and her anxiety about how motherhood will change her. “So I’m going to tell you something that may freak you out.” I swing around in my computer chair and look at my partner of eight years as he lounges […]
The only way to affect real change for mothers in our country is to stop calling motherhood a career, says Danielle Vermeer. One of the best pieces of marriage (and life) advice I ever received was from my mentor in college. She explained how in an intimate relationship like marriage, you should define and redefine […]
What is guilt? And what purpose does it truly serve? Can’t we just let go of guilt and feel free to be flawed? Lately, I’ve been lying a lot. “Do you have children?” a stranger will ask me. “Yes,” I reply, and when I tell them my son is nearly 3, I nod and sigh […]
On the eve of her son’s birthday, Kate McGuinness contemplates the three life lessons she wants him to learn. This week, my only child will turn 24. His birthday seems like a good occasion to consider a few of the remaining life lessons that I would like to impart to him. The first would be […]
Last week, I chose to run Janine Kovac’s “Maybe You Are Ready For Kids, You’re Just Not Paying Attention.” I realize that I offended many of you with a piece that felt condescending, and at odds with Role/Reboot’s goal of being a supportive place for folks to navigate life decisions often based on outdated gender […]
Originally appeared on The Daily Life. Republished here with permission. “It must be about time for you to start working on baby number two?” asks a new acquaintance with a knowing smile at my friend’s birthday party. He was making polite party conversation, but fielding well-meaning inquiries about baby number two is not my definition of small talk. […]
Kerry Cohen responds to Janine Kovac’s piece “Maybe You Are Ready For Kids, You’re Just Not Paying Attention.” I was ready to have children. I was more than ready. Somewhere around 28, my biological clock kicked into gear and I could think of almost nothing else. I had spent the better part of my life […]
(For Kerry Cohen’s response to this piece, “An Open Letter To Janine Kovac,” click here.) You know you want kids, but you’re still not sure you’re ready. Mother of three, Janine Kovac, asks: What are you waiting for? This is an open letter to an old friend of mine. I’ll call her “Doris.” If you’re […]
When professionals told Lynn Beisner she was a good mother, she wouldn’t believe them. She discusses why the best parents are usually the ones who feel most incompetent. I held the large white envelope with trembling hands. In it was the all-important evaluation of my parenting. It would likely determine the outcome of my young […]
Originally appeared on Mamamia.com. Republished here with permission. My wheels fell off this week. Nothing serious and yet still, I lost it. The wobbles began when I noticed I was feeling stressed, overwhelmed and guilty guilty guilty. Such a helpful emotion, guilt. You try to shake off its oppressive stench, but it dulls your senses […]
Originally appeared on Kiki & Tea. Republished here with permission. I’ve been encouraged to write about what it’s really like to be a stepmother. This is from my experience, from the forums I’m a part of, and talks about what it’s like to be a stepmother while the mother is still around, without any children […]
