When we criticize only-child families, we fail to recognize parents as people with wants and needs outside of parenting. “You’re not a real family unless you have more than one child.” This was news to my mom, who had decided not long after my birth that I would be her first and last. My parents […]
Honestly, I just don’t want to make the sacrifices required. Making the decision to not have children is a controversial choice for many people. Family and friends tell stories of indescribable love and fulfillment that come with parenthood—convinced that anyone who voluntarily foregoes the experience is making a huge mistake. What bothers me most about […]
Dear Dana is a bi-weekly advice column for humans who engage in romantic relationships. Please send your dilemmas, issues, conundrums, assumptions, conflicts, anxieties, worriments, obstacles, complications, predicaments, queries, questions, and any other synonyms for “problems” to deardana@rolereboot.org. Dear Dana: My wife and I have a happy, healthy 4-year-old daughter. She’s awesome. It took a couple years […]
Is my only child some kind of personal statement or a selfish reflection of my desire for more free time? Hell no. It’s just…what happened. It’s life. My wife and I have one kid. I’m not sure if we’re going to have another one. There’s a very decent chance that my daughter will be an […]
I was speechless. How to explain to this stranger my reasons for making my son an only child? And did I even need to explain my reasons to this virtual stranger? “How old is your son?” “He’s 5.” “When are you having another?” “We’re not.” “Why not?” “We’re blessed with Ryan.” “No. He needs to […]
Every parent of an only child has a serious reason why that child won’t have siblings, whether that reason is biological, economical, or philosophical. Here is the story I want to tell you: I found a new primary care physician and went to her for symptoms—heart palpitations, anxiety, diminished sex drive, fatigue—and I asked if […]
I promised myself that if I wasn’t pregnant with a second child by the time I turned 40, I’d put my ovaries to bed. My 40th birthday was last month. And a deal’s a deal. On the occasion of my husband, Erik’s, 40th birthday, we sat on the deck of a restaurant that overlooked the glittering […]
