Some polyamorous men claim they want equality, yet their rules for women say otherwise. The morning after a date, Hannah* woke up with what she described as “all the feelings.” She and Greg* had met the night before for scotch and cigars. She had dressed up in an “uber-feminine” outfit, even painting her nails to […]
The more people I can love, the greater love I have to give overall. For years, I appeared destined for one of those single lives depicted in Hollywood rom-coms—that friend of the popular girl who can never seem to snag a man. A cursory look at my biological family, and one can surmise why I […]
I don’t even like sharing a bowl of popcorn; why would I want to share a person? I ring the buzzer for apartment 406, then take a couple steps back to get a better view of the building. It’s a typical Mexico City concrete four-story, nothing fancy, but it borders a tree-filled park and has […]
The most important facet of any relationship is that everyone be treated with kindness and respect. Hierarchical terms do not accomplish that. I am poly. I do not consider this a choice. I was born poly, tried unsuccessfully to maintain monogamous relationships for many years, and finally started accepting my poly self when I was […]
Non-monogamous relationships are all about being in the present moment, practicing autonomy, while connecting in the most organic way possible. So I haven’t really publicly advertised it, but I have been in an open relationship. It took place during my senior year of college—I had one semester left before graduation and met someone online that […]
Fidelity is about communicating with the people you’re seeing, following the rules you set for yourselves, and talking it out when those rules are no longer working. Our worlds are changing. We’re becoming more aware of other cultures, other religions, other practices within our communities and others. We’re starting to dissolve the idea of a […]
Let’s just say: It sounded like a good idea at the time. Last year, my husband, Jason, found himself in a relationship with one of my girlfriends, Sarah. They had always gotten along well from the moment they were first introduced, and there were times they got along better than she and I did. It […]
Dear Dana is a bi-weekly advice column for humans who engage in romantic relationships. Please send your dilemmas, issues, conundrums, assumptions, conflicts, anxieties, worriments, obstacles, complications, predicaments, queries, questions, and any other synonyms for “problems” to deardana@rolereboot.org. Dear Dana: I’ve been seeing This Incredible Guy for several months and am falling head over heels in love […]
How having a polyamorous marriage keeps things new and lively. I vividly remember the first time I felt it. My husband and I were in the backyard laying in the sun and sipping drinks while he described the previous evening. As he talked, his face looked brighter, his eyes clearer. In a flash of déjà vu, I remembered […]
I share my nights between my boys, kiss them both when they walk in from work, and sit in the middle on the couch. My husband is my life. He is my best friend, my rock, my confidant and an absolutey amazing father to our three children. We were high school sweethearts and spent all […]
Married people do not have to prove why they’re married, so why do people have to explain why they’re not? Dear Concerned Family, Friends, Friends’ Nanas, Co-workers, Strangers on Planes, Hairstylists, Taxi Drivers, et al: I can’t take it. The number of people in my life telling me about the number of times they have been concern-policed […]
My lover is a passionate and skilled lover who enjoys the sexual opportunities I offer without expecting any kind of serious commitment. He brings toe-curling excitement to my life and I get to turn around and bring that high-octane sexual energy back home to my husband. Everyone wins. Polyamory and non-monogamy seem to be all the […]
