I guess I was supposed to be flattered because people said I was pretty. But it felt like a liability to me. A dangerous burden. Something that could go wrong. By the first day of fifth grade, I was 5’5″. My almost painfully skinny body made my A cup breasts look much larger than they […]
“Your body is a temple,” my mom said. “It’s sacred so don’t let just anyone in.” The sex education classroom, as I remember it, can be divided into three respective groups: those who giggled at the word sex, those whose faces disappeared behind their folded arms or contorted into a sour-faced cringe, and those whose […]
I will give her my undivided attention. No judgment. No interruptions. No advice. I will look her in the eyes and consume her every word. For a free-spirited tweenage girl whose aim is to conquer the world single-handedly, being told that she will soon wear a training bra and have periods for the REST OF HER […]
I don’t remember The Talk, precisely because there wasn’t one. Instead, discussions about sex, sexuality, bodily changes, and so on were sprinkled throughout my adolescence as necessary, and this method ensured that I never felt ashamed to talk to my mom. “My next column is about how lucky I am to have a sex-positive mom.” […]
Show her support, not shame. When I asked for a bra in third grade, my mom shot me down. “You don’t need one!” she said, motioning toward my chest. And she was right. I was, anatomically, still the same on the top as my best buddy (who happened to be a boy), but I wanted one anyway. […]
When do girls start doubting who they are and start believing the words of others? It’s how it should be. Innocence, sincerity, simple. I watch my daughter and her friend do each other’s hair. They are 8 and 9 years old. They haven’t discovered that this classic game of “salon” is a primer for beauty. To […]
How can I possibly think about being naked around others, when it’s so difficult to confront my own nudity even when I am by myself? When I was 5 years old, my mother would take me to our local Jewish Community Center to go swimming. Afterward, we’d rush to the locker room for a hot shower before […]
We strive to set a good example, to teach you what you need to know, to guide you on your path from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood. But what we forget is that there is so much that YOU teach us. Don’t worry; this isn’t going to be one of those letters. You know […]
It’s drilled into our heads by society that we’re supposed to be happy, and if we aren’t, there’s something wrong with us. Most of us grow up believing that happiness is the best and most important emotion that we can feel. The goal of life is to be happy at all times, and all other […]
Aside from a small amount of teasing in school, most of the insults I’d gotten about my body had come from my own brain. Like many women, weight has been an issue for me for most of my life. I can’t say it’s been on my mind for as long as I can remember, because I […]
As my boys approach adulthood and start relationships of their own with women outside our house, I’m more keenly aware of what they learn both here and outside these walls. And sadly, it’s not as simple as letting them choose the pink shirt over the blue one. I wasn’t raised by a proclaimed feminist, and […]
Though he towers eight inches over me, I’ve shielded my oldest son fiercely from the world, but won’t be able to soon. And I am not ready. My 16-year-old, Grant, grew two inches last night. This, after I spent a king’s fortune on a wardrobe at Vineyard Vines, his new brand of choice. It is all washed, hung, […]
