When someone is grieving, you need only say, “I’m sorry for your loss.” Don’t force a bereft person to parry your reactions, receive your advice, or sate your curiosity. Just sit quietly and listen. On my kitchen counter sits his cast-iron teapot. The delicate, stemless wineglasses he brought over take up space in the cabinet. […]
Once we get beyond the easy yes/no questions, it’s all over for me. If the sign says “Ten items or less,” I check my basket and don’t start a pedantic conversation about whether it should read fewer. Carton of milk, box of Cheez-Its, brick of cheddar, two kinds of cereal, bag of popcorn, jar of extra […]
Why do I resist these unthinking endearments? The women who call me sweetie can make me feel tiny and tucked in, as if they’re about to lay a cool washcloth on my feverish head, or take me out for post break-up ice cream. The women who call me honey bring me food in restaurants. These […]
It’s in those moments, when we look back and realize we’ve erred, that we grow the most. A few years ago, an acquaintance told me he’d just read a book he thought I’d enjoy. “It’s called ‘Being Wrong,’” he said. I laughed and asked why he thought I’d like it. In a soft, serious voice […]
He has told us we’re too fat, too skinny, too loud, too meek, too aggressive, too stupid, too brazen, too dumpy, too snarky, too much. Early in the evening, nearly midway through a damp, drizzly November, I drank giddily among blue-state friends in a city so far to the eastern edge of Washington that it’s […]
