We’ve let entire generations of would-be men grow up into spoiled little boys who believe their pleasure surpasses in importance every other earthly concern, including their victims’ existential well-being. If any lasting good comes about thanks to America’s current administration, it won’t be because of their boundless competence or moral fortitude. It will be because […]
Nobody thinks their son is going to hurt someone. It’s about time the subject of rape comes out of the closet. We’ve been pussyfooting around the topic for far too long, and our sons and daughters deserve more from us. The topic of sex is messy. It makes us uncomfortable. For many parents, the topic of sex […]
If there were no visible scars, no witnesses, couldn’t I just leave it behind? Content warning: rape It happened 14 years ago, five years before my husband and I met, far away from where we live and I’m no longer in touch with anyone from that time period. Most of my friends, ex-boyfriends, and family members […]
The only real solution to the insidious problem of rape injustice starts and ends with our culture. I cannot say that you should never report being sexually assaulted. That is a personal decision, and a choice that I don’t think should be taken away from you. Ever. But if you look at the likelihood of getting justice, at […]
Most men have the luxury of knowing about the fact of rape, but not the reality of rape, and what it means in terms of day-to-day life for girls and women. A few months ago, TIME magazine editor Susanna Schrobsdorff wrote a terrific article about having to talk to a daughter about rape. In the wake […]
Being labeled “dramatic” served not only to shut down my ability to talk about my traumas, but enabled my parents to deny they ever happened. (Trigger warning for rape.) There is no trauma so devastating that a dose of familial guilt cannot make it worse. My sister called me at work late on a Friday […]
Is our mass desensitization to domestic and sexual violence in sports the new normal? “You know what’s interesting?” my cousin asks over a basket of nachos at our favorite Mexican restaurant. “What?” “I’ve been thinking about all the athletes accused of domestic violence,” he says. It’s September 2014 and the second Ray Rice video—the one of […]
Violence is not something we can escape simply by creating more gender-equal societies. From Germaine Greer to the Guerrilla Girls to Lena Dunham, feminism has long attracted women who like to shock. No surprise then that Camille Paglia—the academic who last week exploded the feminist blogosphere with a TIME article arguing that rape culture was […]
This originally appeared on BlogHer.com. Republished here with permission. There’s no bleeding gash, no bruised face. No drinks were spiked, no windows were smashed. But your soul is in shreds. And I believe you. Post contains depictions of sexual assault that may upset some readers. I believe you. Even though your face isn’t bruised, even […]
