I’m proud of the decision I made. One weekend, about five years ago, I went to visit a dear friend from law school. “I’m thinking about having a baby on my own,” I told her somewhat sheepishly. It was an idea I’d been tossing around as I started approaching 40 and there was no life partner in sight. I was still […]
The responsibilities of this new life gutted me. Dating gave me permission to forge space for myself. It was a way to seize control. In 2011, I found myself single for the first time since the summer after high school. My main squeeze (3-year-old D) and I were living in a small studio apartment. I […]
Dear Dana is a bi-weekly advice column for humans who engage in romantic relationships. Please send your dilemmas, issues, conundrums, assumptions, conflicts, anxieties, worriments, obstacles, complications, predicaments, queries, questions, and any other synonyms for “problems” to deardana@rolereboot.org. Dear Dana: I’m a single mom of a 3-year-old girl. She’s been my entire world since her birth, but […]
Marriage doesn’t mean automatic happiness. I am a single mother of two living in New York City. Even though my kids attend a culturally diverse elementary school, I still stand out like a sore thumb. When I go on playdates, half the time the moms are trying to set me up with someone “they know.” The other half the time they’re asking me how hard it is […]
The next time you glance at a fabulous single’s timeline with a twinge of envy, remember that it is only the highlight reel. I’m an active Facebooker. When I do something fun, I’ll often post pictures. But as we all know, Facebook is only a highlight reel of the fragments we choose to show. People […]
Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean I’m not happy. Single + parent. When those two words come together, most people think of the stereotypical exhausted mom or dad living a life full of hardship and struggle (emotionally and financially). And, of course, we all tear up over those beautiful stories of professional athletes who buy their mother a new house as a “thank you” for all […]
I became the mom I’d always hoped to be. “I know you can’t see it now, but you’ll end up appreciating the nights your children are away,” my mother said to me when I was getting divorced. She was right. I couldn’t see it then, but I truly treasure those blocks of time when the […]
Realize that though your daughter is dead, you are not. Recognize that though you have tried desperately for the better part of the last five years to match her in her death state, it is physically impossible. You cannot be dead while you are still alive. One Live in a state of fog, half-submerged in […]
