If parenting is hard, step-parenting is water torture. In 1986, my husband—well, he wasn’t my husband yet—won the county spelling bee. I lost. His blue eyes and stellar spelling skills captivated me. We were 11. Later that year, I would write in my “Garfield” diary, Joni Edelman, Mrs. Joni Edelman, J. Edelman, 373 times—but who’s […]
Children often have no say in who comes into their life, but are expected to acquiesce to new structures and automatically give equal respect to the new addition to the household; a stranger. My mother and stepmother couldn’t be less alike. My mother is practical, pragmatic, and sturdy. She needed to be. She had two […]
For those of us lucky enough to have the engaged kind, the ever-present kind, sometimes the step-parent label, so wrapped in stereotype and qualification, doesn’t quite fit. I am turning 27 next week and my Facebook feed is predictably overflowing with engagement rings, bridal white, and blurry sonograms. While some friends prepare to take on […]
I often dream of running away for the holiday. My tendency to give thanks for my life, a year round habit, comes to a temporary halt at the one time of year designed to elicit such sentiments. Thanksgiving, instead, causes me a low-grade, body buzzing anxiety that starts on November 1st. This is also a shame […]
This originally appeared on Fem2.0. Republished here with permission. I’m no person’s mom, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be a loving and influential adult. By the time I was 12, I knew I didn’t want children. I loved kids, I saw the joy they brought into people’s lives, but I just didn’t feel the […]
This originally appeared on Arielle Silver’s blog. Republished here with permission. I tuck her in at night. I help her with homework, band aids, and boys. She tells me her dreams. She is my oldest daughter, but I am not her mother. It’s a good name, “middle” school. They’re not quite who they used to […]
Seventeen years later, I finally have the courage to say, “I am a sexual abuse survivor,” and I need to heal myself. Trigger warning: This piece contains details about rape, sexual assault, and violence. The National Crime Victimization Survey recently revealed that 38% of victims of rape and sexual violence were men. Since men are often silent […]
