It seems ironic that the products claiming to combat shame around our sexuality are helping us hide it — and implying that we need to. On February 4, an email arrived in my inbox advertising Lorals, a pair of lingerie designed to be worn during oral sex. I was confused. Why would I want anything (besides a dental dam, perhaps) […]
Even when we’re supposedly the ones being pleased, we still feel our duty is first and foremost to please our partners. About a year ago, I ran into a guy I’d been on two dates with at a Metric concert. I’d declined the third date because I wasn’t really feeling it, but that night I […]
Sex-positivity and sexual misconduct, though, are really, really different, and we should know better than to engage in the latter under the guise of the former. “How could I be offended by that?” That’s the question that ran through my mind when a friend of a friend said “when you see me, you’ll get wet” […]
I’ve realized it would be a waste of time to date someone who wants kids. I’d just be postponing a breakup. Ever since I was a kid myself, I’ve held the conviction that I didn’t want kids. I found baby dolls creepy and real-life babies irritating. Whenever I told my parents this, they’d say, “You’ll […]
We’re not imagining ourselves in loving relationships, dialogue and all, as we get ourselves off. And we’re definitely not lighting scented candles and applying body lotion to create a sensuous environment. “I think I masturbate more when I’m stressed.” “You masturbate?” This conversation I had with a male friend embodies the surprise a lot of people express when […]
We tried to love beyond gender, and hit the wall. On our first OKCupid-initiated date, Ryan* and I timidly gazed at each other across a cafe table, punctuating the silence with sips of lattes. But by the time the discussion escalated to our common childhood spiritual obsessions, it was as if we had known each […]
