When young girls are growing up digesting messages from television, magazines, and the Internet that it’s OK to put someone else ahead of their own care in the name of devotion and loyalty, that’s when it becomes a problem. It is with both pride and skepticism that I can announce I left my third toxic relationship this […]
It took me a long, long time to understand that addiction isn’t the same as love. Trigger warning: abuse in relationships I don’t know that I’d ever given much thought to the concept of emotional abuse in relationships. Or, I thought of it as something clear, stark, the menacing man standing over the cowering woman, […]
When it comes to understanding the deeply personal pain of being estranged from family members, the stigma is as severe as public knowledge is shallow. Because I’m a standup comedian and therefore, by default, kind of a monster, I jokingly compare the broad spectrum of families to The Cosby Show. On television, the Huxtables were the perfect […]
No matter what we call ourselves, it’s true that we are the narcissist’s easy prey. I’ve always known I experience other people’s feelings differently. I pick up on nonverbal cues most people miss, and when I walk into a room I often feel assaulted by the intensity of other people’s emotions. For years, I would’ve […]
Most of us intend to be good parents; the reality is more like scrambling through the woods at night with a child in your arms. My mother and I weren’t really close when I was a kid. She was always the steady parent, the one who doled out punishments and tended to hold a bit of […]
You can never, ever go wrong when you choose to take care of yourself. You know that girl who is always dating someone or chasing after her next relationship? The one who can’t seem to ever be alone and whose entire existence seems to revolve around her romantic conquests? Yep, that was me. I am […]
Sometimes abandoning a friendship is easier than maintaining one. On that day, the hills of Point Reyes National Seashore had been baked brown by relentless heat. My ’67 Ford Falcon heaved along the curves of the Pacific Coast near the San Andreas Fault line. I’d always found beauty in the precariousness of this place, where […]
I opened the envelope, and pulled the letter out. It was at least six pages. I glanced over it and saw words like “disappointed,” “behavior,” “crappy,” and “finished.” The letter arrived today. Although I won’t mark it return to sender, neither will I read the whole thing in one sitting. I’ll take it in small […]
We’re taught to believe that romantic and sexual love are the highest forms of human connection, that friendship is somehow second best, but in truth, a friend—even a friend that you used to want to bone—can be a greater blessing than any other. On the first day of my freshman year of college, I sat […]
