Being labeled “dramatic” served not only to shut down my ability to talk about my traumas, but enabled my parents to deny they ever happened. (Trigger warning for rape.) There is no trauma so devastating that a dose of familial guilt cannot make it worse. My sister called me at work late on a Friday […]
In a culture that stigmatizes those who refuse to forgive, the added stress can lead to poorer health and slower recovery. When I say that I am against forgiveness, I am not judging individuals who choose to forgive. If doing so helps you, then by all means, forgive. What I abhor is a culture that […]
Perhaps we hold certain stereotypes that prevent us from recommending mental health treatment for our elders. Do we believe change is only possible for younger generations? A few years ago, my mother-in-law, Joan, developed an infection following a root canal. Her dentist prescribed penicillin, which triggered an awful allergic reaction—she actually stopped breathing. “Joan, stay […]
Understanding the significance of my father’s childhood has helped me understand my father, and untangle our complicated relationship. My father is the child of Holocaust survivors. It’s strange for me to type those words because that was never how my father described his parents. His parents never discussed the Holocaust or the war. When he […]
In many ways, my mother’s failure to protect me was much worse than my brother raping me. Trigger warning for rape. In a lifetime of moments, most are quickly forgotten. Only a tiny number are retained, and most of these are filed away in our mind, reminiscences that can be pulled out or put away […]
