Dear Dana is a bi-weekly advice column for humans who engage in romantic relationships. Please send your dilemmas, issues, conundrums, assumptions, conflicts, anxieties, worriments, obstacles, complications, predicaments, queries, questions, and any other synonyms for “problems” to deardana@rolereboot.org. Dear Dana: My best friend and I have known each other since kindergarten when her family moved to my […]
Women in the porn industry are fighting the forces of sexism, racism and homophobia, one dirty film at a time. In order to better understand the scope of sexual desire, a professor named Meredith Chivers once invited a group of men and women into her lab at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health. There, […]
If almost everything about the way I see myself and what I’m allowed to be and want has changed, why would my sexuality be static? Being smacked in the face by a major revelation is especially jarring for those of us who are hyper-aware and over-analytical. We get worried about what else we missed and […]
While I knew I was lucky to have everything I’d worked for—family, a new apartment, financial stability—I also knew that I had never felt so lonely. My phone buzzed. I looked down at the text message on the glowing blue screen. The words took a moment to sink in. It was like being back in middle school […]
The same loss happened to each member of the couple, but you each may be processing the grief in a different way. We all have unique coping skills, and sometimes our responses clash. It’s Saturday morning, and you’ve just gotten the news that there’s a rally downtown. When you mention it to your partner, s/he […]
Every new white acquaintance brings anxiety: Will you care for my plight or remain apathetic to my struggles? Establishing and maintaining friendships can be challenging. But for socially conscious black Americans, there is often an added level of difficulty. Black Americans are expected to be considerate of the feelings of those who may not care […]
Sexting can offer a safer, gentler space to practice overcoming ingrained shame. The first time I was asked to talk dirty was in my early college days, while giving my first long-term boyfriend oral sex. He presumably wanted me to say dirty shit with the same mouth I was using to do dirty shit all […]
Adult virgins, people with disabilities, and guys who have had their penises numbed by porn are among her clients. I don’t know what you picture a sex surrogate looking like, but Kendra Holliday probably isn’t it. Neither frumpy clinician nor stern dominatrix, Holliday, 43, is more like an eager puppy, wide-eyed, full of energy and […]
