Live your own damn life.
As a woman, I’m fully aware of how much we contradict ourselves.
We say we want more time to ourselves, but then we RSVP to every halfway decent event on Facebook. We say we want to get healthier, but then we eat a whole bag of Doritos. We say we want to wait for Prince (or Princess) Charming, but we settle for their uglier, slightly alcoholic cousin.
We say we want to be happy, but then we consciously do things we know will make us sad.
What can we say? We’re complicated.
What we fail to realize is that we’ve been searching for happiness everywhere but the one place we’ll actually find it: in ourselves.
The way we live is too often determined by the rest of the world. We base our actions and motives on things like being a better friend, wife, mother, and person. While all these ideas are great to strive for, the standards of what makes them good have been defined by everyone but you.
For our entire lives we’ve been sacrificing our happiness for the sake of making other people more comfortable. It’s time to stop.
So rather than spend another effing second worrying about your mom/your boss/your boyfriend/that girl you went to high school with that you totally hate thinks, why not just figure out what you think?
As long as your actions aren’t physically or emotionally hurting someone else, no one’s opinion really matters.
Sure, there are tons of decisions you make that should include the opinion of others (mainly just the ones you love and respect), but in order for you to find happiness within yourself, you need to stop giving a fuck about:
1. The way you dress
Whether you’re rocking mom jeans or crop tops, your personal style has literally nothing to do with anyone else. Judge what you’re wearing based on your own preferences and what you’re comfortable with, and don’t ever let anyone tell you what you can/can’t wear.
2. Who you sleep with
What (and who, wink) you do between the sheets is nobody’s business but your own.
3. How you earn your money
It doesn’t matter where you are in life, don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your job. Your only competition is yourself—not anyone else.
4. What other people think of you
If you let the opinions of other people have any impact on your life, you’ll spend your days worrying and over-thinking. Block out any excess negativity and focus on how to make YOU happy.
5. What other people post about on social media
Social media is the worst for making people look like their having more fun then they actually are. Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing.
6. What your ex is doing
The past is in the past for a reason, boo. Let that shit go.
7. Your pant size
While I’m all for taking care of your health and body, please don’t obsess over a number on a scale or the size of your jeans. Being in shape has more to do with how you feel than how you look.
8. People telling you what to do
The only person who should making rules about how you live your life is you.
9. The past
If you’re holding on to anything from your past, it’s time to say goodbye. That baggage will only hold you down and keep you from enjoying the present moment.
10. The future
On a similar note, worrying about the future doesn’t do any good. If you focus all your energy on what could happen, you’ll miss your opportunity to live a full life.
11. Anything else you can’t control
Seriously, whether it’s people or weather patterns, stop stressing over it. The only things that are really in your control are what you do and your reactions to things that happen to you.
Emily Blackwood is a YourTango intern.
This originally appeared on YourTango. Republished here with permission.