Lately, I have been wondering about those patterns. I have been wondering if we inherit misfortune, the way we inherit eye color, hair color, left handedness. 1. My grandmother’s first child was born in August 1942. He died in January 1943. The word baby appears at the top his tombstone. The age 4 ½ months […]
I fear that someday I will fail her as a parent and she will fail herself as a person and think that it is OK to hurt someone else to a grave extent, and with intent. It was summer. They were girls I had considered friends. A boy liked me, wanted to date me in the […]
We are scared to face women who have gone through a pregnancy loss or the loss of a baby and we don’t know what the hell to say—even if we’ve gone through it ourselves. I had a miscarriage. It’s not something I’ve written about before. But last week’s launch of Dr. Jessica Zucker’s “pregnancy loss cards” […]
Realize that though your daughter is dead, you are not. Recognize that though you have tried desperately for the better part of the last five years to match her in her death state, it is physically impossible. You cannot be dead while you are still alive. One Live in a state of fog, half-submerged in […]
Despite how counterintuitive it seems, leaning into trauma might be the very antidote to drowning in it. There is no one “right” way to feel after experiencing pregnancy loss. The trauma continuum is vast and varied. Every woman comes to this loss with different maternal hopes, reproductive histories, pregnancy fantasies, relationships with their bodies, interpersonal […]
