When a new colleague, hired just this year, came to my office for the first time, she said, “So, judging by your walls, it would probably be OK to have a photo of my stepkids on my desk, right?” Right. It never occurred to me to put my job search on hiatus while I was pregnant. […]
Dear Dana is a bi-weekly advice column for humans who engage in romantic relationships. Please send your dilemmas, issues, conundrums, assumptions, conflicts, anxieties, worriments, obstacles, complications, predicaments, queries, questions, and any other synonyms for “problems” to deardana@rolereboot.org. Dear Dana: My husband and I have been married for five years. We both have decent paying jobs, both […]
Researchers have also discovered that fathers are often perceived as competent employees and are more likely to be hired than mothers. Tara worked full-time and was already caring for a toddler when she had her second child. Like many American mothers, Tara was not granted maternity leave. Instead, she cobbled together vacation days to give […]
Apart from one day a year of orchid arrangements and mimosas, none of that worshipful admiration ever seems to translate into actual, real-world support for mothers. On Sunday, May 14, millions of Americans will celebrate their mothers with gifts, elaborate meals, and flowery Facebook posts of gratitude and devotion. This annual outpouring of emotion can […]
Shame. It may be the single most corrosive force of our time. When my husband and I were in our final year of the MFA program where we met, we were each responsible for producing a book-length thesis. Jason and I had started dating in our first year and moved in together quickly, realizing that […]
Is our sub-par family leave legislation supposed to be equally dismal for men and women? Is this the measure of equality? Today, August 26, is Women’s Equality Day. Hooray for one day! Forgive my cynicism. I’ve long been convinced that true equality requires evolution, and the existing generations are a lost cause. Sexism is far […]
Do you have a burning question about pregnancy, modern parenting, or family life? Send it to Evie at AskEvieColumn@gmail.com or click here to submit your question anonymously. Dear Evie, My daughter is 7 months old—she’s a funny, curious, adventurous little girl and she’s the light of my life. Before I had her, I struggled with recovery […]
When mothers are working their hearts out for their kids, society still judges us by how we look, and how we fail to live up to the standard expected of women. It’s a near impossibility for a mother to be a properly attractive woman. Constant articles mock mothers for “mom hair” (thank you for that, […]
Having kids in the United States is brutal. “The days are long, but the years are short,” goes the old saying. That’s true of life itself, but the phrase has become a mantra of parents and caregivers, a reassuring bit of what’s called “everyday wisdom” for the perpetually sleep-deprived and stressed-out. Even parents with the […]
A 2014 Human Rights Commission report found that an incredible one in five women had reported being made redundant, restructured, or not having their contracts renewed while pregnant, during parental leave, or upon their return to work. Becoming a mother is meant to be a time of joy, but workplace discrimination can leave pregnant women […]
The flipside of misogyny is toxic masculinity. This is the masculinity that tells men to “man up” and prove themselves with violence or rigid gender roles. I recently participated in a panel on the war on women put together by New York State Senator Liz Krueger. One of the questions addressed to me was how the war […]
The question of whose life is more luxurious, who is more selfish, who is lazier, etc., is a genuine distraction from truly important issues that affect all families. Last month, Allison B. Carter posted a piece in the New York Times about her decision to be a stay-at-home mom. It’s not a “luxury,” she argued. […]
