The most important facet of any relationship is that everyone be treated with kindness and respect. Hierarchical terms do not accomplish that. I am poly. I do not consider this a choice. I was born poly, tried unsuccessfully to maintain monogamous relationships for many years, and finally started accepting my poly self when I was […]
When men’s dating preferences were observed, the age of women they expressed interest in never (never!) deviated from the early 20s. In 2014, OKCupid founder Christian Rudder published Dataclysm, a comprehensive book of his statistics and analysis from the popular dating site. One chapter centers on what Rudder calls “the nexus of beauty, sex, and […]
Healthy relationships aren’t built on a foundation of negative reinforcement. There are a lot of words used to describe women that should be permanently expelled from men’s vocabularies. You know them as well as me: Nasty. Bitch. “Cool girl.” “Whiskey girl.” Whore. Please don’t even get me started on the c-word. I will scream. We […]
Abstaining from parenthood does not make you a screwed up, selfish, or damaged person. Being a woman who does not want to become a mother is still a bit of a cultural anomaly in 2017. Granted, our society in these ever-modernizing times is showing increased signs of acceptance of these women. But there’s a lot […]
I was convinced that by taking a leap so out of character — so spontaneous and unexpected — I had changed the very trajectory of my love life. I’ve never been a risk taker. Jumping out of airplanes and popping pills never seemed thrilling or fun. It just seemed senseless and scary. While this outlook […]
Thank you, Donald Trump, for creating the chaotic environment that caused my husband and I to talk — really talk — about important issues. Thank you, Donald Trump, for making my marriage great again. After seven years of juggling the day-to-day responsibilities that come with raising a blended family, my husband and I had been running […]
Dear Dana is a bi-weekly advice column for humans who engage in romantic relationships. Please send your dilemmas, issues, conundrums, assumptions, conflicts, anxieties, worriments, obstacles, complications, predicaments, queries, questions, and any other synonyms for “problems” to deardana@rolereboot.org. Dear Dana, I’ve been dating a guy for about five months now, and he is really great. Funny, kind, […]
We are products of a lifetime of gendered social messages that tell us that every woman needs a man – that to not have one, even for a moment, is a failure at womanhood. If you type “singles” into Google, the first page of your search will yield the following: The Wikipedia definition of a […]
