It’s been a while since I felt simultaneously very into someone, and very sure about him. It’s a strange feeling. I’ve been playing with theories about how “flirtation is basically an exercise in strategic ambiguity” and “insecurity is an integral part of romantic intoxication” and “uncertainty is an emotional amplifier,“ and I do think that […]
This was originally posted in slightly different form at My So-Called Polyamorous Life. Republished here with permission. Now, first of all, I should say that casual sex is not for everyone. I don’t believe that just wanting to have casual sex makes you more awesome or that wanting to avoid it makes you less awesome. I […]
Cohabitating is perfectly normal in today’s society. Yet “perfect” is not always what it seems and “normal” may not always be best. According to the National Survey of Family Growth, a 2002 survey of 13,000 respondents, 61 percent of women in their late 30s had cohabitated at some point in their lives, and 28 percent […]
This was originally posted at Love, Joy, Feminism. Republished with permission. Libby Anne describes herself as having grown up in a family influenced by the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements. A good deal of the pain we feel in our day-to-day lives comes from unmet expectations. As an example, if my husband doesn’t put his […]
Sex work is a controversial and polarized topic, and there are many perspectives on it. My position is complex—but for me, when it comes to how we actually interact with sex workers, one important factor is whether or not they consent to and enjoy their jobs. I am absolutely in favor of giving better options […]
This article originally appeared in April 2010 on ClarisseThorn.com. Republished here with permission. Polyamory is a form of consensual non-monogamy in which people have multiple lovers, and are honest with each other about doing so. I have a lot more theoretical exposure to polyamory than personal experience, but I’ve been gaining more personal experience over […]
This was originally published on October 28 over at Clarisse Thorn: Pro-Sex Outreach, Open-Minded Feminism. Okay, so. Since I am a Feminist Commentator™, many folks have asked my opinion on a piece that recently ran in “The Atlantic” called “All The Single Ladies,” by Kate Bolick. Many of you have probably already seen Bolick’s piece […]
Nicole Rodgers and Hugo Schwyzer discuss society’s obsession with the number of people we’ve slept with. This article is a collaboration between Role/Reboot and the Good Men Project. Nicole: If I asked you for your number, why wouldn’t you tell me? Hugo: Well, part of it – honestly – is that the only number I […]
My grandma adores my husband to the point where she’ll call ask how I am, interrupt me mid-sentence, and request I pass the phone to her ‘new grandson’. Between the two of us, he’s definitely higher on her favourites list right now. (Meanwhile, I’m quietly hoping the novelty of a ‘grandson’ will wear off and […]
This piece was originally published on the Good Men Project. Republished with permission. Judging from what I read online and hear from my students, the question of the “number” is as compelling as ever. In February, Marie Claire ran an article, “What’s Your Number?” in which five women (whose numbers ranged from zero to 100) told their […]
This piece is a conversation between Hugo Schwyzer, a Gender Studies professor and Sex and Relationship Editor at the Good Men Project, and Nicole Rodgers, the President and co-founder of Role/Reboot. This article is cross-posted at Role/Reboot and the Good Men Project. Hugo: Both sexes regularly accuse the other of being inconsistent when it comes […]
Shortly after tying the knot, a friend asked if I wanted to watch a football game at a local bar and grill. I hesitated. “Maybe. Let me check with the wife first.” Then I quickly added, “I’m probably forgetting some plans we’ve already made, but if not, then I’m definitely in.” The sinking feeling in […]
