“Parenting” has become a competitive sport. But it’s kids who are losing. When my daughters were little, we did a lot of time at our neighborhood playgrounds. I’d park myself on a bench with a book, or chat with my friends while the kids played. Sometimes, I’d push them on a swing, or spot them […]
I guess I was supposed to be flattered because people said I was pretty. But it felt like a liability to me. A dangerous burden. Something that could go wrong. By the first day of fifth grade, I was 5’5″. My almost painfully skinny body made my A cup breasts look much larger than they […]
This is what happens when kids grow up. Innocent actions are suddenly seen as inappropriate, disrespectful, and a form of harassment. Earlier this school year, my eight-year-old son did something “inappropriate” at school. During lunch, he lifted his shirt and showed his stomach to the boy sitting next to him. A female classmate sitting across […]
I embrace my identity as a socially awkward introvert who often drops eye contact and may speak three sentences at a party. None of those things speak to my character. I am about to turn 46. According to the Census Bureau, I am now one year into my middle age. I love this milestone. Like […]
You will now need caffeine with your booze to stay awake. I’m developing a love-hate relationship with the big 3-0 birthday looming ahead next summer. There are days when I can’t wait to shed my 20s like a cocoon and emerge as my Adult Self, leaving behind all of the uncertainties and mistakes of the past […]
Life, from start to finish, is a collaborative endeavor. At the university in Boston where I teach, we’ve entered the period of the academic year that I call The Panic. As April dovetails into May, nary an hour passes without an email from a student in need. They need extensions. They need extra credit. They […]
There will never ever be a better time to pursue what you love. Take risks. Get hurt. Be extraordinary. This spring, I have the incredible good fortune of teaching as a guest artist at my old high school. Teenagers have improved considerably since I was one, and the students in my classes are spectacular. Not […]
I will give her my undivided attention. No judgment. No interruptions. No advice. I will look her in the eyes and consume her every word. For a free-spirited tweenage girl whose aim is to conquer the world single-handedly, being told that she will soon wear a training bra and have periods for the REST OF HER […]
I don’t remember The Talk, precisely because there wasn’t one. Instead, discussions about sex, sexuality, bodily changes, and so on were sprinkled throughout my adolescence as necessary, and this method ensured that I never felt ashamed to talk to my mom. “My next column is about how lucky I am to have a sex-positive mom.” […]
Don’t let old age be wasted on the old. Sometimes I feel smarter than I was 30-something years ago. I don’t remember how to do Algebra or how to diagram a sentence, but I can read several newspaper articles about seemingly disparate issues and immediately see how they are connected. Like David Foster Wallace on […]
Show her support, not shame. When I asked for a bra in third grade, my mom shot me down. “You don’t need one!” she said, motioning toward my chest. And she was right. I was, anatomically, still the same on the top as my best buddy (who happened to be a boy), but I wanted one anyway. […]
I didn’t make this choice to hurt them; I made this choice to save myself. I don’t have a biological family. Well, I used to but I don’t anymore. They sucked so I disowned them. Harsh words, I know. If you’re shocked, you’re not the only one. Many tragic things over the course of my lifetime have led […]
